Atlanta Breast Cancer Events

Komen Atlanta Race for the Cure

Saturday, May 12 6:45a
Atlantic Station, Atlanta
We’re running for our lives! The 22nd annual Komen Atlanta Race for the Cure 5K run/walk and 1 mile walk raises money to save lives and end breast cancer.

TaTaPalooza 2012: Breast Cancer Benefit with Tracy Bayles, Heather Luttrell, JoyScout Jessica Dunnagan

Saturday, June 16 8:00p
The Red Light Cafe, Atlanta
come show your support!

Mama Juggs

Thursday, May 10 8:00p
The Mask Center, Atlanta
Inspired by true stories from the playwright’s life, Mama Juggs is an intimate performance about women’s health and living with breast cancer.

Wacoal Fights for the Cure™ with Special Fitting Event at Macy’S

Saturday, May 19 10:00a
Macy’s Lenox Square, Atlanta
Eight out of ten women put on the wrong size bra every day. Macy’s and Wacoal are teaming up to help women find their correct size and knock-out breast cancer by hosting a Fi(GH)t For The Cure® bra fitting even

@BEAUTIFULBYB

Hope.Strength.Courage

Every year, especially during October, women across the United States AND fem-fATL spread Breast Cancer Awareness.  Big or small, too much or none at all… as women, we have em’… BOOBS.  It’s so important to check yourself for lumps and unusual circumstances in your breasts… because this cancer can be stopped before severe problems, or death, occur.  We can’t rely on our annual gyno visit and the chance that technology and doctors will save us if we fall prey to the disease.  Prevention, as always, is the key.  The same way you can do kegels just about anywhere… you can always check your boobs out, so there’s no excuse!  Check them in the shower if you have to.  Whichever boob you are checking, raise the same arm and place your hand on your back.  With your free hand, put two fingers together and gently press on your breast around your nipple and go all the way around and work your way outwards.  You should feel for unusual lumps or pain that is caused from gentle pressing.  (Don’t have too much fun now!)  If you do experience the unusual, definitely schedule an appointment with your doctor immediately.  You may find out that everything is perfectly normal… and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing!  If you find out something is wrong… then you are taking the preventative steps to saving your life.  XoXoXo

Ok. I feel that this needs to be said.

Now, I planned on waiting a few weeks to address this, but I have observed + I just know it needs to be addressed now.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! (yea. i see you fellas donning flip flops)

Yes, we have been having beautiful weather + yes, I understand that Atlanta is warmer than usual and SHOOT– I get it– you live in a warm place so why not break out your warm-weather clothes early?

BUT…

I can no longer cope with the sight of crusty unkempt feet. There are plenty of places in the A to get those crawdads tamed or simply click on YouTube and teach yourselves how to do a basic home pedicure.  At the VERY LEAST, you can hit the bottom of those feet with a pumice stone + those toes with some clippers! I sat up in a nice restaurant and had the UNpleasure of resting my wandering eyes on the back of this lady’s slingbacks, which were struggling to contain her protruding PEELING CRACKING HEELS. I mean like Chili’s onion blossom peeling.

DEAR GOD! I’m glad I didn’t see those toes!

::shudder:: it was the worst

Furthermore. If you are in the shower, I hope you don’t think your feet are getting clean just because you’re stepping on water and soap is running down your bod onto your toes. You gotta grab that ankle, flip the bottom of your foot up and scrub!

NEWSFLASH::

If the soles of your feet look like you’re been break-dancing inside of a chimney + it’s 9 am… that’s a problem!

If you need suggestions, fem-fATL would be honored to do a FEM TOP TEN: nail salons post. Just do something! It’s cold again so you’ve got a little time to hook it up.

Me and the rest of the people whose eyes might land on your feet within the coming months thank you!

This has been a special fem-fATL announcement.

You have 40$... Would you blow it on a mani/pedi or get your oil changed?

Why does my vehicle even need oil?

Did you know that some of the moving parts within your engine never really touch? It is true! They ride on a thin film of oil. One of the main functions of oil is to keep these moving parts separated from each other, preventing damage and wear.

Another important function of oil is cooling. As the oil circulates it carries away some of the heat generated as a result of the combustion process. When your motor oil level is low it will cause the engine temperature to rise. It is important to check your motor oil level frequently to make sure that this doesn’t occur.

Did you know that motor oil also plays an important role in helping to keep your engine clean? The oil within your engine is constantly cleaning as it lubricates picking-up and holding dirt, contaminants and other combustion by-products. Think of motor oil like you would think of a sponge. We all know that a sponge has the ability to pick-up and hold fluids, dirt, etc. When a sponge becomes oversaturated it can no longer hold any more fluid. These same attributes apply to your motor oil. When the oil becomes saturated with contaminants, and cannot hold anymore in suspension, the excess falls-out of suspension and can form deposits in the engine, one of which is known as “sludge.” Regular oil changes will remove suspended contaminants before “sludge” can form, helping keep your engine running cleaner and smoother.

When do I need an oil change? How do I choose the right type of oil?

You want to get your oil changed before sludge starts to form. Remember, sludge is one of the top enemies of your engine, so you want to take action before sludge takes over. The timing of oil changes can vary depending on the type of vehicle you drive, where you drive, and how you drive. Your vehicle manufacturer has done rigorous testing to help determine the timing between oil changes and the proper oil. All of this information can be found in your vehicle owner’s manual or you can easily stop by any Jiffy Lube service center where a trained technician can help.

What’s the difference between Synthetic vs. Conventional Oil?

The myth is that all synthetic oil is purely man-made and not based on oils found in nature. In today’s synthetic oils, crude or natural oil is purified and then structurally modified to produce improved performance.

Today’s motor oils contain base oils and several additives that are carefully blended together. Synthetic base oils may be made from a variety of chemicals and processes that are designed to have excellent performance at extreme temperatures and operating conditions. Select additives are used to improve flow characteristics and lubricating quality in the harshest of conditions. Conventional base oils are refined from crude oil. Additives may also be carefully added to conventional base oils to make quality motor oils as well.

While synthetic motor oils can provide exceptional performance and protection, they don’t eliminate the need for regular oil changes. High quality synthetic motor oils can perform and protect better than conventional motor oils, but engines running on gasoline or diesel will continue to naturally contaminate and stress the oil, and the additives can only work for so long.

Thanks Jiffy Lube for informing your customers!!! lol oh and ladies, make sure to google coupons online for whatever place you are about to go to!!!

Saturday, Jan 8-9 @ 9:00a

at Self Discovery Center, Atlanta, GA

Everyone is Welcome!

Facilitated by: Phil Love with Ananda Love

DETAILS: 

This Miraculous Awakening into the light of love course is taught over two days, sometimes three and is designed simply to help a person to move beyond the limitations and structures of the mind it is designed to bring us again into the space of the unmanifest consciousness we are. When we are identified with the mind- when we filter our experience through our past conditioning- we are in fact not living, but merely existing, merely surviving. When we live within the structures of the mind, we are not actually alive at all.

The purpose of life is simply to live- to experience reality, as it is- that natural state where the senses are alive; the heart is open, in direct contact with the Oneness in everything. When we are in the consciousness of the unmanifest -we are then fully into the oneness space.

This Awakening to the light of love Course is designed for accelerated spiritual growth through a series of experiential exercises and ancient energetic transmissions some areas of the world called deeksha.

Deeksha is a word meaning transference of energy. In some ways it could be seen as more of a transfer of remembrance. It is about remembering who we really are as pure consciousness, pure life force, and pure energy in an unmanifested form. When someone comes into contact with a teacher/guru/facilitator that already remembers and knows who they are as this unmanifest consciousness, the teacher can “initiate” or transfer the remembrance to the “student”, through various ways. This remembrance “initiation” can be done through intent, eye gazing, touch, thought or simply “being” in the presence of each other. This transference/remembrance of energy can assist the student in reaching the unmanifest consciousness. As we remember and more frequently tap into that experience of who we are as energy, we are waking ourselves up to the truth of who we are – pure unmanifest consciousness ready to be created as any possibility.

We are here to assist others in remembering by the sharing of deeksha at this level of clean, clear, pure, outside of ego, outside of duality, outside of any other intentions. We desire all to know our pure unmanifest consciousness/ pure potential with no other agenda present. It is simply about remembering.

Deeksha raises consciousness, stills the mind, awakens the presence of the divine within and initiates enlightenment.

This course can bring about total spiritual awakening within each participant, awaken your heart, heal family patterns, release blocks, and liberate you from the duality ego based mind.

The teachings will vary from course to course. Taking the course multiple times is highly recommended for those serious students & practitioners wishing to explore the path of LOVE at the deepest level.

· You will have the choice/option to become a clear, clean, Deeksha channel, free from ego, duality based intentions/motives or agendas.

Some things you will take from this seminar:

 · Experience the essence of our Being

· Be here Now AWAKE

· Radiate Joy and Love

· Live in Peace

· Be Bliss filled

· Experience and Be the Light, Energy, and Love that we are

Location: Self Discovery Center 1315 South Ponce de Leon Ave. Atlanta, GA 30306

Agenda on Saturday January 8th

9am-1pm

1pm-2pm Lunch

2pm-7pm

Sunday January 9th 9am-6pm

9am-1pm

1pm-2pm Lunch

2pm-6pm

Cost: Donation (No one is turned away due to lack of funds.) 

Contact Information: Phil Love or Ananda Love 770-596-1497 / office@philinlove.com

Well, whatever your debt story is… making it your new years’ resolution to clean your debt up and become financially savvy is in your best interest.  The consumer lending industries would be pissed to know that you are not going to run on their hamster wheel anymore.  You, however, will unfold the release of stress and burden that debt has placed on you… and maximize your opportunities for financial wealth and growth.

Manage Debt

Once you have credit cards in your wallet, you need to manage debt responsibly to build and protect your credit record and score.

The Do’s And Don’ts Of Debt Management

Do:

• Seek credit cards and loans with the lowest interest rates.
• Stay within your credit limit.
• Track your charges online.
• Pay charge accounts in full monthly, if possible.
• Use Web-based automatic bill-pay programs to ensure payments are on time.
• Save your receipts and compare them to the charges listed on your statement.

Don’t:

• Use credit to buy things you cannot afford.
• Let the total monthly debt payments (less mortgage or rent) exceed 20 percent of your net income.
• Apply for too many credit cards. Remember: three lines of credit are enough.
• Give in to impulse buying.

Stop Adding New Debt

When debt is a problem, the first step toward a solution is to stop adding to your existing balances. It may be helpful to remove your credit cards from your wallet and place them in a secure but less convenient location so you will be less likely to use them.

Review your most recent credit card statements to identify any recurring monthly charges on your cards. Cancel those purchases that are not essential, such as subscriptions to entertainment services.

Use the Debt-Danger-Signals checklist to help you assess if you are managing debt appropriately.

Develop And Follow A Monthly Budget

Before attempting to pay your debt in full, it is critical that you know how much money you receive and where every dollar goes each month. Use the Budget Work Sheet to take that important step. It will help you identify opportunities to trim expenses, saving money that can be used to pay down your balances. The easiest expenses to eliminate are flexible expenses like dining out, clothing, gifts and entertainment.

As you examine your monthly income and spending, you should also consider opportunities to increase your income — especially if you find your expenses exceed your income. Even if it is only temporary, additional income will quicken your return to financial health.

A budget or a spending plan, is a tool for establishing financial control and direction. It helps you:

• Track how you use your money each month and year.
• Avoid unnecessary spending.
• Prepare for unexpected expenses.
• Save for short-term goals and invest for long-term goals.

Several financial software programs are available to help you accomplish this task. Utilizing this information will help you more wisely manage your income and expenses to meet your financial goals.

Creating A Budget

Total every dollar you spend for a month and keep track of what you buy. You may be surprised how much you spend and on what things.

Assess your income and subtract your expenses. Gather pay stubs and other income statements, check registers, bank statements, credit card statements or bills and receipts. Divide your annual net income by 12 to determine monthly net income.

Copy the Budget Work Sheet. Use it to record the amounts you plan to spend for the month. Financial planning professionals generally recommend targeting at least 10 percent to 15 percent of monthly net income for savings.

Monitor your spending. Keep written records of your purchases and payments. Record the amounts you actually spent for the month.

Review your plan. Compare what you actually spent to the amounts you planned to spend. How well did you do for the month? Did you have extra money (net cash flow), or did you borrow money by using a credit card? Look for areas that require special attention and reduce or eliminate expenses as needed. Review your spending plan at least once each month.

Adjust your plan. Adjust expenses to reach your financial goals.

The Importance Of Debt Management

Credit is the ability to borrow money to buy something now with a promise to pay for it later, with an added interest charge. Every time you use credit, you incur debt.

Debt is a double-edged sword. Responsible borrowers can use debt to pay for a vehicle, home or college education over time rather than all at once. Those who are careless with debt, however, will see an increasing portion of their income consumed by debt payments, jeopardizing their financial futures.

Use Credit For:

Items that appreciate in value (a home or home improvements).*

Items that generate future income (a college education).*

Items that have value longer than it takes to pay them off (a vehicle or furniture).

Do Not Use Credit For:

Depreciating goods and services (vacations, dining out, clothing or holiday gifts).

Exception: When you can afford to pay these charges in full upon receiving your statement.

* The loan interest charges you pay for most mortgage loans and some student loans may be tax deductible for federal income tax purposes.

Debt Categories

Sound debt management begins with understanding your financing options. There are two major categories of debt — secured and unsecured.

Secured debts are those that require you to pledge collateral to back up your promise to pay. Collateral is something of value which lenders can repossess if you fail to make payments on their terms.

Unsecured debts have no collateral, only the promise you give them to repay the loan in full.

Typically, the property being purchased with the loan serves as collateral, such as a vehicle or home. Because secured debt exposes the lender to less risk, it usually has lower interest rates than unsecured debt.

Used properly, credit helps you achieve major financial goals!

After popping open my pants from my second plate load of food on Thanksgiving, I later sat back wondering to myself….

Not wondering who was going to get the job of clearing the table, or figuring out how we were going to load the massive amount of leftovers all into two refrigerators.  Nor was I thinking about my 5a.m schedule for Black Friday, praying that I don’t snap at my 510th customer before 10 a.m.  I thought long and hard about what I was truly thankful for. The first thought that popped in my head was, “living.”  I was thankful for the fact that the Lord allowed me to see another day and spend it with others.  LIFE IS SO SHORT, AND AT TIMES I FEEL THAT THE VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE HAS SEEMED TO DETERIORATE, especially with the amount of violence that has taken  to the streets.

A few weeks ago I heard about a young black male who was murdered at a house party. Bobby Tillman was 18 years of age, and was known to be a kind and friendly person. The event seemed to be another scenerio of a good kid, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This senseless act brought me to tears, thinking this young man could have been my nephew, my brother, my friend, or cousin.  The pain really touched home with me because it was the same pain I had encounter MULTIPLE times before.   My only real thoughts on the issue seem to be:

 WHY DOES IT SEEM TO BE SO EASY TO TAKE A LIFE, WHICH YOU DID NOT HELP TO CREATE?

WHAT DO YOU GAIN?

DOES ANYONE THINK PAST THEIR PRESENT EMOTIONS, AND THINK ABOUT THE CONCEQUENCES BEFORE HAND?

It pains me to see the young youth taking scuffs on sneakers, a certain look, or relationships with your gf or bf gone bad, to dangerous heights.  Have we forgotten the value of life or have we just stopped caring?  We need to learn to value our own lives and others.

 A few years ago I came across a poem that hit home on black on black crime. It made me think about how powerful we are as people when we choose to stand for something instead of nothing.

  A TEAR

A TEAR FOR THE PAST FOR MILLIONS OF PEERS

A TEAR FROM MY CHEEK FOR THEIR HEARTACHES AND FEARS

400 PLUS YEARS OF ANGER, RAPED, ROBBED, AND BEAT DOWN AS SLAVES

FOR MY ANCESTORS I MOURN, YET I STILL FEEL THE PAIN

A TEAR IN THE PRESENT FOR BLACK ON BLACK CRIMES

TEARS FROM SAD MOTHERS WITH LOVED ONES THAT’S DYING

LYING AT NIGHT, GUNSHOTS SCREAM THROUGH THE AIR

ANOTHER BLACK DOCTOR OR LAWYER GONE, ONES WE TRULY NEED HERE

A TEAR FOR THE FUTURE FOR THOSE THAT WONT KNOW

A TEAR MORE CONCERNED, AS THE IGNORANCE GROWS

SLOWELY WE LEARN MAYBE YEAR AFTER YEAR

BUT FOR MY PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE, I STILL SHED A TEAR

Poem by: NMYROOM

Miss Deuces

United Way V.I.P. trains people from ethnically diverse and underrepresented populations into leadership roles in nonprofit agencies by leading participants through a comprehensive 10-week nonprofit service curriculum.

By bringing ethnically diverse individuals into leadership positions, agencies enhance their understanding of the diverse needs of their clients — and become better able to meet those needs.

Eat, Drink, Live United – Art Show Fundraiser

Hosted By: Ciera Tavana

Ciera’s goal is to raise $500 for the V.I.P. Program, No matter the size of your contribution, you are making a big, long lasting impact on your community.

To contribute to this effort, please donate through this website: www.firstgiving.com/cieratavana

When: November 12th -> 7-10pm

Where: Studioplex: 659 Auburn Ave Atlanta, GA 30312

What: Food, Drink, Local Art, Music

Why: Raising Awareness and Donations for United Way Metropolitan Atlanta

CLICK HERE TO RSVP VIA FACEBOOK

“Like a perfect flower, That is just beyond your reach, Gone too soon…
Born to amuse , To inspire to delight, Here one day, Gone one night…
Like a sunset, Dying with the rising of the moon, Gone too soon, Gone too soon…”

Many of you have probably read or seen headlines, “25 year old newlywed and Atlanta native murdered by her husband”. The shocking statement alone is enough to bring someone to tears.  Madison (Roarabough) McLester was a 25 year old newly wed and GSU graduate, whose beautiful life was cut short Halloween night by her husband Minchillo McLester.

As GSU Alumni, this hit very close to home for JustB (Brittany), Serendipity (Cari), and Myself.  The shock of losing someone your age is always intense, you always put yourself into that situation saying “What if that happened to ME??”…”What if that happened to one of MY friends??”…. Unfortunately the pain is always worst when the victim was a family member, friend, or former colleague.  Serendipity and I were fortunate enough to have know Madison, we were friends with her in college…the 3 of us started college together in 2003 and graduated together in 2007.

Dedication to Madison:

“I knew Madison as a student at Georgia State. She Kristen (UrbanSocialite) and I were all in the same FLC (Freshman Learning Community). We had TONS of laughs and good times as happy go lucky freshman running around together in our cluster of classes during our first semester. Madison was a SWEETHEART. She talked to any and everybody.  She was a joy to be around. God Bless. Madsion K. McLester R.IP. You will truly be missed. ” – Serendipity (Cari)

“I remember my first time meeting Madison, it was our first day of college.  She, Cari, and I were in the same FLC, and we were nervous/jittery 1st time college students.  We all shared the same group of classes together, it was like a mini family.  Madison was such a sweet girl, she was always in a good mood, and was extremely smart.  We would have the funniest random conversations during our study group sessions.  I remember her telling me that she was a true Atlanta native (Grady H.S. grad!) and that she was from “SWATS“… of course, me not being originally from ATL had no idea what that meant! When I asked her what “SWATS” meant, she said “South West Atlanta Too Strong” LOL…can you imagine that coming out of her mouth?  LOL, thats the type of person Madison was, extremely down to earth, humble, and easy to get along with.  Madison you are truly missed, you will always be remembered as that same beautiful, down to earth, and sweet young lady that I entered college with…and whenever I hear the term “SWATS” I will always smile and think of you” – UrbanSocialite (Kristen)

“This story has been on my mind since UrbanSocialite posted her RIP status on Facebook and Serendipity posted the AJC story.  I didn’t know this young lady and GSU alum… but my heart still goes out to her family and loved ones.  I am utterly devastated about her loss and the horrific crime posed on her by her newlywed husband.  This story immediately struck a cord in my body that shouted “Domestic Violence”.  We often have our own ideas and opinions about what domestic violence is and to what importance it has in society… but it is not until a tragedy like Madison McLester’s that we really dig for answers as to WHY and HOW something like this could happen.  Death of an innocent life is the ultimate stage in domestic violence situations… sometimes followed by years of physical, mental, emotional, and sexual torment.  It is so important to save your life and to promote others saving their lives by fleeing domestic violence relationships while you still have the chance.  There is help out there for you, if you love yourself (and your children) just know that you CAN save your life.  I don’t know the details on Madison’s relationship with her murderer, but statistics prove that women experience recidivism at least 7 times before they finally leave a relationship or are killed by their perpetrator.  (Most perpetrators are intimate partners!)  The chances that Madison had experienced some forms of domestic violence earlier in her relationship are probably high, whether or not anyone outside the relationship knew about it.  Most of the time, victims hide these occurrences to protect the cycle that they are stuck in, because they don’t want outside pressures telling them to leave the relationship.  It is so unfortunate that this person she loved and married took away her life.  I take this loss with me and use it as motivation to continue promoting awareness of domestic violence.  We all need to understand the consequences of living in unhealthy relationships and opening our eyes to the early signs before they end in tragic loss.  RIP Madison McLester.” - JustB (Brittany)

**Our own Just B is strong a Domestic Violence advocate, and has worked at Domestic Violence shelters in the ATL area.  Domestic violence is not something that should be ignored, too many women are becoming the victims of the heinous acts of others….unfortunately Madison’s life was ended due to this act.**

Domestic violence is best understood as a pattern of abusive behaviors — including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks as well as economic coercion — used by one intimate partner against another (adult or adolescent) to gain, maintain, or regain power and control in the relationship. Batterers use of a range of tactics to frighten, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, often injure, and sometimes kill a current or former intimate partner. (Please read for more information at http://dvam.vawnet.org/about/aboutdv.php)

Please feel free to comment with your thoughts and prayers, and we ask you to keep the Roarabough family in your prayers as well.

My favorite part of the movie!!!

According to the US Census Bureau, The number of single-mother families increased from 3 million in 1970 to 10 million in 2003, while the number of single-father families grew from less than 500,000 to 2million. Do we have baby mamas in the ATL?! I don’t need the Census Bureau to say “uh.. yea.”  FYI-The three main causes of single mother households are the rise in births amongst unmarried women, the frequency of divorce, and the increased number of incarcerated fathers.

Just when you thought you made it out of adolescence scotch free of the drama and ruction, you may find yourself as an adult dealing with (or being) BABY MAMA DRAMA. These three words bring to mind Marcus’ baby mama from Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?” Even when you watch the movie, you just want to unleash Angela on the b*tch (for lack of better words). Now, it is one thing to simply be a “Baby Mama”… I mean, shit… I am a baby mama myself! In an ideal world, we’d all be married to the father(s) of our children and live happily ever after, far away from crime and fast food, and our men would not stray. Wake the fuck up… it is not an ideal world. I’m embarrassed for the women out there who allow them selves to fall into this whole BABY MAMA DRAMA box. It is time to pull yourselves together and stop making things hard for everyone (including your child) to make yourself feel better!

Is there BMD in Vietnam?

Baby mamas who choose to be “misery looking for company” show no dignity for themselves. They don’t focus on what’s best for their children, but rather how they can use their child to cause turmoil against the father to somehow get even for their own pain. They know that if that child were not involved, they wouldn’t have any other fuckin’ excuse to contact the father and depend on him for anything. The situation can also be more intense if another female is involved. The new girlfriend is a quick target for a trip to hell, but little does baby mama know, she is just making herself look absolutely starving for attention. They do this kinda shit when they fear their children will have less of a relationship with them and more of one with the father (and new girl). Some even fear the new girl as trying to be the kids’ new mom! WTF? The keyword is FEAR… it makes you think a lot more than what is really happening. Sometimes this is how people justify their reasoning for their actions… and mostly this is all about making them selves feel better! She feels entitled to the father still because of the child… however, no one has entitlement over any other adult, period… regardless of whether a child is involved or not. Instead of realizing the relationship is over and fostering a continuum of a healthy relationship between the father and children, they choose to be a victim of their circumstances.

Love

Dear Baby Monsters,

Whether you want to accept it or not, people do not want you to be hurt further than you have already experienced in this non-ideal world. Even more so, the adults that you think you are attacking are not the ones being hurt, but instead your own children are. Their stability is more important than your own, more now than ever, because they can’t just walk away like you can. They are subject to your care and trust. You have to release selfish inhibitions and always do what is best for your children. This is one of those situations where sometimes you have to do something not because you want to, but because you need to. You need to because your children need as much love and enrichment they can get in this tragic world. (And please don’t think that I am encouraging you to not protect them from domestic violence, sexual abuse, child pornography or anything harmful to your child.) Why would you try to shut down a father who is willing to be there and who loves your children? There are plenty of men who want nothing to do with the little rugrats and think garnished wages should be a crime. You have to understand that the other parent is equally important to your children just as you are, and you don’t want to be the person to inhibit that relationship. As the children grow up and formulate their own opinions, they will understand who was there for them and also who prevented others from being there for them. Child support is exactly what the term means… support for your child, but no money in the world can buy the relationship between parent and children. A mature parent will allow any good father to maintain that relationship and will embrace the fact that the father WANTS to be there! Think about it. Take a look at your actions for what they are… a mixture of pain, embarrassment, loss, struggle with change, insecurity, fear of raising kids alone… and all other different personal feats that someone may have. You could also be dealing with financial instability and not sure how to provide. That is understandably a very difficult situation to deal with. From the inner most pit of my soul, I want to express my empathy. I know what it feels like to lose and I know what it feels like to have to stand back up on your own. It takes time to heal, definitely… but it also takes the CHOICE to move forward, showing that you are accountable for your own life. Whatever has happened to you or anyone, is not a reflection of YOU. Take care of your happiness and find happiness in giving the best care to your children. As this door closes, another will open…many more… and although it may be HELL in the hallway, happier days are around the corner. Even though the relationship is over and things may be tough adjusting to change and loss, you’ll be so glad that your children did not suffer the pain you may have dealt with. Best of wishes for your future… and your future choices.

Sincerely,

PS.  WHAT IS THE CRAZIEST BABY MAMA DRAMA STORY YOU HAVE!? fem-fATL wants to know!!!