In regards to how quickly it happens, the timing of it really isn’t necessarily that important (at least to me). The positive impact that good sex can have is . You’re right in that there often needs to be a certain level of trust and comfort already there for the sex to be good. However, there are different levels of comfort that one can have. Even amongst our own friends, there are usually those to whom we will divulge more personal details to than the others. Having a good sex life often just opens up new avenues of communication that previously would have been avoided.

About the second point: I don’t see why a relationship that focuses primarily on sex can’t be “true” or “lasting”. If people can come together over a shared love of art or philosophy or music, why not a love of sex? I’m not talking about two people who despise each other but sleep together anyway, but rather a valid relationship in which good sex is viewed as a goal rather than a byproduct.

1) This makes me question if that’s why men are so down to have sex more quickly than women. Do they feel that knowing a woman sexually and being in an “awkward” situation with them… allows them to be more open and willing to share other aspects that would therefore lead to a relationship? I think women operate differently. I think females give “good” sex when they are already comfortable. Plus… what if you give “bad” sex cuz you are still too shy or holding back??? Both of you might give up on learning the other aspects of you and never make it to the sexual growth that both of you could share together.

2) It does depend on the couple… you are absolutely right. My whole point was that people are in relationships for a reason other than sex. If sex is the basis, then people might as well state in the beginning.. this is just a sexual relationship and nothing more. I was probably being more technical about the meaning of a true and lasting relationship.

Anyhow, thank you for the love!!!

1) One thing that we often forget about sex is just how awkward it can be. Good sex with someone that you are sexually compatible with allows everyone involved to stop be so self conscious and let themselves loose, which is actually really important IMO. Being comfortable and flexible with one another sexually will result in being more comfortable with each other in other aspects as well. This applied even more for people who are into “non-traditional” stuff (bondage, S&M, or just plain rough play) because there’s an entirely new level of trust that is formed.

2) It depends on the couple, and what each of them wants out of the relationship. Some people want their partner to “complete them” and fill the void in their life; others find their lives pretty much ideal but simply aren’t interested in random play. Most people fall somewhere in between. Yeah, the first group would eventually feel that they’re missing out on too much, but the second group would be perfectly fine with it (and yes, they’re out there). For everyone else, it just depends where on the scale you land.

At the end of the day we are animals and good sex is like nature’s way of saying your parts fit, your fluids mix, and your signs are corresponding.

And YES – if you are having good sex it can hold a relationship. It keeps everyone happy! But of course its not sex alone. It’s never one thing alone that holds a relationship, but good sex is a good one to have on your side!