Her nails look good. lol
fem-fATL wants YOU to ANSWER BOTH: 1) Can good sex create a mature relationship? 2) Can good sex hold a relationship together?
I got this question from a friend’s facebook status message and enjoyed the roar of comments that followed. Here’s what the ladies had to say:
I would love to think so… because if it is not good it sure knows how to mess a relationship up
Good sex can create a relationship,I’ve been a witness to that. Good sex can hold a relationship too,but not it alone.
Yes to both
yes and no, unless its purely a sexual relationship
Sex shouldn’t be the bases of a relationship, but friendship should.You can always learn to have good sex with some one you love to call your best friend, from the old school son!
My personal experience no.. Because that’s we based on our relationship on.. And most of the time it’s the girl who falls first that’s wants the change the sex into a relationship where the man was always just content with the good sex. But honestly sex is better when 2 ppl are trully into eachother in a committed form so yes that can make it last..
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
a real, mature and lasting relationship CANNOT be created or held together by good Sex alone ….
I dont think it can be created by good sex. Possibly enhanced, but not created. It may trick u into thinking u can have a relationship wit that person, but it takes more than sex to make it work. I mean a good, fun, exciting sex life is important…very important, but its not everything.… Notice, there were no fellas making comments. Guys… What do you think?
My answers are… 1)NO and 2)NO… at least not for real, meaningful relationships. My opinion is… I don’t think people understand the meaning behind relationships in the first place. The point of being in one is to encompass all that come with knowing someone on different levels, including the sexual level, and feelin n’sync with this person enough to actually build and grow with them monogamously. It only takes one out of two people to not want a relationship with the other for something detrimental to spiral, because relationships have to be mutual and can not be held together by force, guilt, pressure, or a baby..etc. When people meet eachother, they are introducing the representative of themselves and neither know where this new fling is going… or whether the two of you will mesh on those different levels over time. Have protected sex with the person when you are both ready… but sex alone is only ONE part of a relationship and will not make up for the other components, nor can it hold a relationship together. If sex is all two people have together, eventually the “cookie will crumble”… some one will end up seeking those other components in some one else and so forth. People, in general, find that sex is much more enjoyable when all those components are there anyhow. Think about how sex can be one of our most intimate experiences with some one… bein’ butt naked and all. I think people, mostly women, are more able to unleash their sexual abilities when they trust, feel respected and valued by their partner. When a woman experiences these feelings she is more likely to to stop being shy about her body, let her hair down and let you have the business. (lol)
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I think YES – GOOD sex can mature a relationship. If the sex is GOOD then elements such as communication, connection, and intimacy must be on lock. And I don’t think you can develop a mature romantic relationship without strong communication, connection, or intimacy. It’ll fizzle or messages start getting twisted. Good sex is an indication of a mature relationship or CAN BE a tactic for building communication and trust.
At the end of the day we are animals and good sex is like nature’s way of saying your parts fit, your fluids mix, and your signs are corresponding.
And YES – if you are having good sex it can hold a relationship. It keeps everyone happy! But of course its not sex alone. It’s never one thing alone that holds a relationship, but good sex is a good one to have on your side!
1. NOOOOO. Good sex has historically led me to hang onto subpar relationships, which brings me to 2. Yep, but they’re not healthy relationships. On the other hand, bad sex is a sign that it’s NEVER EVER going to work.
I’ll toss in my $.02 to represent for the fellas out there… I’m gonna have to go with a 1) yes and a 2) possibly.
1) One thing that we often forget about sex is just how awkward it can be. Good sex with someone that you are sexually compatible with allows everyone involved to stop be so self conscious and let themselves loose, which is actually really important IMO. Being comfortable and flexible with one another sexually will result in being more comfortable with each other in other aspects as well. This applied even more for people who are into “non-traditional” stuff (bondage, S&M, or just plain rough play) because there’s an entirely new level of trust that is formed.
2) It depends on the couple, and what each of them wants out of the relationship. Some people want their partner to “complete them” and fill the void in their life; others find their lives pretty much ideal but simply aren’t interested in random play. Most people fall somewhere in between. Yeah, the first group would eventually feel that they’re missing out on too much, but the second group would be perfectly fine with it (and yes, they’re out there). For everyone else, it just depends where on the scale you land.
Darren… you the man! Thank you for ur insight. I just wanna respond to your interesting comments…
1) This makes me question if that’s why men are so down to have sex more quickly than women. Do they feel that knowing a woman sexually and being in an “awkward” situation with them… allows them to be more open and willing to share other aspects that would therefore lead to a relationship? I think women operate differently. I think females give “good” sex when they are already comfortable. Plus… what if you give “bad” sex cuz you are still too shy or holding back??? Both of you might give up on learning the other aspects of you and never make it to the sexual growth that both of you could share together.
2) It does depend on the couple… you are absolutely right. My whole point was that people are in relationships for a reason other than sex. If sex is the basis, then people might as well state in the beginning.. this is just a sexual relationship and nothing more. I was probably being more technical about the meaning of a true and lasting relationship.
Anyhow, thank you for the love!!!
In response to Just B’s response…
In regards to how quickly it happens, the timing of it really isn’t necessarily that important (at least to me). The positive impact that good sex can have is . You’re right in that there often needs to be a certain level of trust and comfort already there for the sex to be good. However, there are different levels of comfort that one can have. Even amongst our own friends, there are usually those to whom we will divulge more personal details to than the others. Having a good sex life often just opens up new avenues of communication that previously would have been avoided.
About the second point: I don’t see why a relationship that focuses primarily on sex can’t be “true” or “lasting”. If people can come together over a shared love of art or philosophy or music, why not a love of sex? I’m not talking about two people who despise each other but sleep together anyway, but rather a valid relationship in which good sex is viewed as a goal rather than a byproduct.