OXYTOCIN (pronounced /ˌɒksɨˈtoʊsɪn/) is a female hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain.  Oxytocin is best known for its roles in female reproduction: 1) it is released in large amounts after distension of the cervix and vagina during labor, and 2) after stimulation of the nipples, facilitating birth and breastfeeding, respectively. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin’s role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, trust, love, and maternal behaviors.

Do you really know how to keep your woman happy?

So, what the hell does this have to do with anything?  fem-fATL will let you know.  It has A LOT to do with female emotions, especially emotions expressed in a relationship.  Whether you are single or taken, hear me out on this whole idea about oxytocin because at some point, you may be able to apply this to your life.  If you are a dude, you may even learn how to apply this knowledge in how you treat your girl or future significant other.

I’m not fixin to be medical on all of you, so basically I’m going to break it down in my own words based on a relationship book I am reading.  Women have taken on several roles since the earlier days of housewivery and oppression.  Those roles require a large dose of testosterone, which we normally run on a lower dose of testosterone compared to our male counterparts.  Testosterone is the hormone that allows us to step up to the plate and achieve goals and knock shit outta the way.  However, when we are running on these high levels of testosterone, our normally higher levels of OXYTOCIN subside through out the day and become low.  When we have low oxytocin levels, we turn into Dr. Evil, become irritable quickly, and will snap at people we normally love.  OXYTOCIN affects our moods and our behaviors regardless of how independent, sexy, and nice we are… making us look super needy, fugly, and a complete pain in the ass.  The part that sucks is that as women, we can not naturally re-charge our oxytocin levels the same way a guy can re-charge his testosterone levels.  Through out a man’s day, he absorbs his levels of testosterone as he is out working and completing tasks (providing for his family etc.), so when he comes home, he is basically out of testosterone and re-charges himself by chilling out on the couch, working out, or taking a nap etc.  Often times, women perceive him as being LAZY or UNCARING or SELFISH because he takes this time to himself before being able to help out around the house or help his girlfriend with her homework etc.  This is not an excuse for men to take advantage, but ladies… if you allow him this space to re-charge, he will be much more effective later and you will both save eachother on another fight about stupid stuff!

So, how do the ladies win?  How do women re-charge their oxytocin? One way in which women re-charge their OXYTOCIN is by doing things for others out of the kindness of your own heart.  (WTF?! I know, right… after a long day of work/school/kids/etc. and we still gotta do for others?)  It sounds like some bullshit, but as females, it is innate for us as caregivers to feel a sense of validation as we are able to give to others selflessly.  Sometimes, it will be our significant others that we are able to give to selflessly, but other times, it would be wise to seek other sources such as helping a friend sort out some problems, helping your mom clean her car, or working out with your overweight homegirl.  When doing these things, we are not working off of testosterone.  Instead, we are lowering our testosterone because we are not seeking monetary reward or praise… we are doing what we naturally do, thus increasing oxytocin.

Another way to re-charge our OXYTOCIN (listen up guys) is to have our significant others understand this female hormone and learn how to communicate with us in ways that validate our feelings.  Often times, guys perceive this as us bitching and moaning about shit that does not matter.  When OXYTOCIN is low, this pretty much is the case!  We become more needy, especially as the male’s testosterone is low.  The two hormones work off of eachother, and the ideal goal is to have both the male testosterone level at a normal high and the female oxytocin level at a normal high.  These levels start a normal highs in new relationships, which is why two people usually fall for eachother quickly in the beginning.  As time goes by, both have to understand how to work with these hormones in order to make the relationship work as the excitement and new new wears off.  At some point in a relationship with someone, you have to communicate to your man what things will calm you down or bring you back to earth when you are obviously having a bitch fit.  You want to tell him that you know he has SOLUTIONS for things and that you trust his solutions, but sometimes you just want to vent and feel like he cares about your venting.  Guys, instead of suggesting quick fix solutions when your girl is venting, try listening and being affectionate! Remind her that she is the woman by making her feel important and beautiful and needed as a woman.  This validates the woman quickly and allows her body to lower testosterone levels she’s been working off of all day and allows OXYTOCIN to rise again.

When a woman has normal OXYTOCIN levels again, she will be much more lax when her man wants to rest after a long day of work. She will care about maintaining attraction with her partner and put away the sweatpants and white tees.  The sex life will also drastically improve because a woman who feels good about herself will be less inclined to skimp on the booty.  In return, the male will feel as if he is making his woman happy and he will continue to find new ways to keep her happy.  Bet you never knew you had to connect with someone hormonally, on top of phsyically, mentally, spiritually, sexually, and other things with -ly on the end!  This, my friends, is the scientific meaning behind, “Happy Girl, Happy World.”