whistle while you twurk
go head and start and make that
pussy fart and whistle while you
twurk (twurk summin).
- Ying Yang Twins

http://www.oddpersonals.com

If you are a normal human being, then the sound of a fart is funny. Don’t even act like it isn’t. If you were in a quiet room and someone farted, and that was all you heard and people pretended to ignore it- that would be an un-FART-unate reality. Because farting is funny and you don’t have to be part of Nickelodeon’s target audience to agree.

So what could be more embarrassing for a female during sexual activity then farting? And really- if it’s more embarrassing- it’s probably REALLY embarrassing so you just might want to keep it to yourself! Coochie farting on the other hand is some funny shit to talk about.

What exactly is a coochie fart, otherwise commonly called a pussy fart or queef? According to my numero uno source of everyday real talk, UrbanDictionary.com, the more appropriate term is vaginal flatulence (flatus vaginalis in Latin) and it is an expulsion of air from the vagina during or after sexual intercourse.

How is this at all relevant to the Atlanta scene? Well really we just thought it was funny. But if I had to force a connection: Atlanta is home to Georgia peaches, sweet tea & lemonade, and baby got back. And when baby’s got back, someone’s gonna want to hit baby from the back. And well here it comes: queefing is most often resulting after the “doggy style” position. So putting A + B together, I come to the conclusion that the embarrassing experience of queefing is a common experience for ladies in the A. All across Atlanta tonight as partners are backpacking across the love universe- Atlanta peaches are queefin in concerto! [LAUGH]

Caley Ratcliffe Art

Queefing occurs most commonly after very fast-paced or deep intercourse, so when two people are getting it on in the right way. Queefs occur when a an object – usually a dick creates a vacuum of air inside the vagine. You know like a little air bubble inside the vagina. LOL. This air bubble is usually due to the angle or position of said object as it enters the vagina or because of a condom (damn condoms). Queefs usually happen when the penis or object is removed or pushed deeper into the vagina.

While queefing sounds like flatulence from the anus (ass fart)- it does not involve the waste gases which exit the body from your booty and thus has no specific odors. It can be silent or volcanic, but your queef will not be deadly!

One of the reasons queefing during intercourse is so embarassing it’s because queefs are known to have a ‘wet sound’. So not only are you farting- but its a wet fart- a double whammy. And that’s just funny and disgusting.

Also you should know, queefs can happen during all activities of life; like when you stretch or exercise. Honestly I think it would be more embarrassing to be doing some squats at the gym and let one rip then with a partner I can laugh with at least. If I let one go in the gym, I’d totally act like the mentioned scenario at the top- LOL like I didn’t even hear it! bwhahahaha. So anyway, what we have learned is that while queefs are embarassing during sexual activity, its quite normal and fuck it.. it’s not like they smell.

I did a little bit of research for you all to find ways to avoid the queef. So here is what I came up with:

1. Lay on your back and push down on your lower abdomen to push out any air. Breath in and exhale from your diaphram.
   Caveat: This is not like giving birth (well I wouldn’t know, maybe it is). You might be pushing so hard you actually do fart or push something else out! You might shart on your bed! Now that’s funny. (Just B: That’s a sure thing he’s not coming back for more, unless he is into that kinky ‘shit’) bwahahahahahahhaha
2. Don’t do it doggy style. Don’t do it fast. Don’t do it deep. Fuck don’t even fuck.
   Caveat: what the fuck?
3. Push out your kegel muscles before a guy goes inside.
   Caveat: But then you are gonna be concentrating contracting your vag muscles that you won’t even enjoy yourself. Really its not that big of deal, and sometimes its completely unavoidable. So let loose.

I think it’s probably more embarassing for a guy to fart during intercourse then a girl’s queef. A queef is expected. If a dude farts he has no excuse! Leave behind your funniest queef stories!

Guys: Do you want to bust out laughing when a girl queefs? Do you try to act like it didn’t happen. Let us know!!!